Unconventional Trouser Stealing
by superFREAKINwholock
Summary: When some one in the engine room shrinks Chekov's trousers its not long before everyone else's trousers shrink too. Pairings are not major. Rated T for heated kissing scenes and unconventional trouser stealing.


**A/N Please keep in mind this is kind of a crack fic. Also Chekov's accent it missing from his speech because I don't like reading it or writing it and this is a short fic so I hope you don't mind too much. Also the pairings in this fic are not major at all, just helps me scheme easier. Enjoy**

**T for heated kissing and unconventional trouser stealing.**

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Today was not a good day for Chekov; one of the guys in the engine room had stolen all of his uniform and shrunk it so it was too small. Well the shirt was alright to be honest, but the trousers? They were eye wateringly tight.

But the Russian didn't have a choice. It was either this or nothing at all. Sighing he squeezed them on slowly. The first big obstacle he encountered was getting his ankles through the bottom of the leg hole. The second big obstacle was getting them done up, but succeeding both of those challenges, the Ensign made it out of his chambers on time.

He blushed as he walked through the corridors of the Enterprise. The Beta shift had just been let off so the corridors were swarming with people. He almost felt naked with the pants leaving nothing to the imagination.

He rushed into the lift and down onto the bridge. He sighed, and then remembered that all of his co-workers and some of his closest friends were present. A bought of giggles caught his ears and so did the sounds of the whole crew getting whiplash by turning to look at his _new _look. He turned the colour of beetroot and rushed to his seat.

Spock looked over at Chekov and sighed, he then had to be the one to ask the most completely inappropriate question to an underage boy, "Are you aware that those trousers that you are currently wearing can be considered provocative. I suggest that you acquire a new pair as soon as possible." He didn't wait for a reply and then turned away to talk to the Captain.

Chekov dipped his head feigning innocence , "Yes sir.", and tried to hide his blushing face.

Sulu chuckled quietly to himself while the rest of the crew got over the initial shock.

Sulu twisted in his seat to face Chekov "Was it the guys in the engine room again? You know they only did it because they thought it would be a bit of fun, right?" Sulu asked to see if the young Ensign was okay, and then added, "At least you can still speak normally, huh."

Chekov huffed, "Yes I can speak properly. It does not hurt, much. And anyway, if you're not careful then I will shrink your pants." He joked warningly with a glint in his eye his Russian accent making everything he said adorable.

Sulu rolled his eyes, "Yeah right, you don't even know where I keep my pants."

"Yes I do. You only have one pair which gets washed every night, but I will not hesitate to take them off of your body myself if have too." Chekov smiled to himself while he played around with the controls in front of him.

Sulu's eyes widened a considerable amount, and so did some others. Chekov was not the little baby they were led on to believe.

"Well… Well... Crap, you have me there." Hikaru sighed in defeat and went back to his job.

"I can't wait to take my pants off, will you help me get them off? They're a bit tight if you haven't noticed" Chekov said, lifting his hips up slightly and gesturing to his crotch with his hands unabashedly flirting with the man sitting quietly beside him.

Sulu coughed and rubbed the back of his neck, "Sure, but we will discuss it later. And you better do something for me in return."

Chekov smiled, "I will do _anything_ for yo-"

Spock, tired of this small confrontation and worried that they might crash the ship, decided at that moment to intervene before things got any further, "Stop, Chekov, Sulu. We're going to be nearing an asteroid field and we need you two to concentrate and steer the ship through it before we can go into warp speed. Please be professional or I will report you to the admiral." Spock huffed and started talking to the captain about Chekov's pants and how scandalous they were.

Chekov blushed to a deep shade of red and concentrated on his job, Sulu concentrated on his job too, albeit giving out a shaky breath every now and then when Chekov's hand wandered over his thigh.

Spock kept on Death Glaring them both, but other than that they didn't get much of a chastising. Spock didn't like to be a hypocrite.

When the siren rang for their lunch break, Sulu grabbed Chekov by the sleeve of his shirt and pulled him out of his chair and ran them both out of the door and into the lift. They got a lot of very funny looks and a few wolf whistles though Spock did not understand why so he sat there very much perplexed before the realisation hit him and he blanched.

Sulu led Chekov through the ship towards his quarters after the lift had stopped and weaved their way through the corridors until they reached Sulu's room.

As he fumbled blindly for his key card, while Chekov attacked the nape of his neck with fiery kisses and his hands worked to un do his belt from behind, reaching around him and _accidently _groping his front end making him lean back into Chekov's arms and moan quietly, momentarily forgetting his task to find the key card.

Foot steps were heard behind him and a voice which sounded distinctly like Kirks choked out, "Get a room guys!" Whilst hurrying away from the scene with Spock in tow who decided that he'd rather just avert his eyes and remain silent.

Sulu bit back a whimper of loss as Chekov jerked away from him and straightened up, "Find the card, or I won't let you do anything, and I can't wait much longer."

Scowling Sulu dug his hand into pocket for a last ditch attempt and feeling the cold plastic against his hand he hoisted it out and put it against the scanner. Upon hearing the beep, Chekov threw Sulu through the doors and pushed him down onto the bed. Not bothered whether anyone saw them or not, as they didn't wait for the doors to close.

The curly haired Russian straddled Sulu and forcefully crashed his lips against the others, eliciting a small squeak of surprise from the older Asian. He licked his tongue over Sulu's bottom lip asking for entry which he readily gave and their tongues quickly fought for dominance which Chekov won. For someone new to intimate relationships he sure learned fast. Wanting to move it on quickly Chekov smirked and tugged off Sulu's shirt and threw it on the floor. Sulu tugged at Chekov's shirt but was denied permission to remove it. The Ensign then lifted up Sulu's hips and tugged his pants off in a fluid motion, faltering a bit when he had to take off the others shoes.

Grinning to himself, Chekov kept the trousers and got off Sulu ignoring the protests. He then fled room with trousers in hand and sent them to the engine room to be shrunken.

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Sulu stumbled onto the bridge with a look of embarrassment on his face. Chekov strolled in a short while after, barely containing his laughter when he saw how visibly tight the mans pant were.

Kirk noticed the pants too but decided not to say anything, he would have to try and steal Spocks trousers and shrink those, it would be very funny (and sexy) to see the Vulcan stumble around in tight constraining clothing; he might even steal his shirt as well just because he can.

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Over the next week or so the entire bridge crew and some other crew members of the U.S.S. Enterprise had very tight clothing. They just hoped that they could order in more uniform before they returned home.

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**Thank you for reading my short little oneshot. I don't think this needs a sequel so there will not be one. Please leave a review and favourite it if you enjoy it. **

**I love you all for reading this. =3**


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